Sunday, March 4, 2012
A thought occurred to me recently...
I used to think that the differences in my Husband's & my own Parenting style, in a manner, of right & wrong.
Mainly, his being wrong... & mine being right, because I have always thought that he was entirely too permissive. Now, in his defense, he has told me on many... many.... many... ( did I mention many?) occasions that he thinks I am entirely too hard on my Kids.
The thought I had is that were are both right.
Can that possibly be true???
Yes, it is and if you will continue to read I will explain!
Now, I can honestly admit that I have learned over the years, that there has been some element of truth in what my Husband Steve has said about my being too hard on my kids...
I have realized that I have been a tad bit "Tiger-Mom-ish" in my approach to raising my kids. But, also another thing I have begun to realize is that its not totally wrong either!
I had this realization recently, when I was explaining to my 16 year old the reason why it may seem like she has one standard that she seems to be held accountable to from me, & one standard that her Step- Brother and Sister seem to held accountable to, & why it is not a matter of fair or not fair.
It all boils down to whether or not she wants her life to be Over-easy? or Hard-boiled?
My parenting style is all about wanting my daughter to learn in her time with me ,is to learn from her mistakes now, when all the worst consequence she will face, will be getting privileges taken away, me being mad at her, or anything else that may happen as a result of her irresponsibility. That is my main goal..
My Husband's style is he has spent a lot of time over the years showing his kids what he expects of them, sharing the values he has, & teaching them right from wrong. Its their choice however, now that they are teenagers, what they will do. If they don't do whats expected of them, he does't get bent out of shape because of it. He knows that eventually they will learn one way or the other. The easy way, or the hard way.
Which brings me to my point.
It occurred to me, that my way... the way that seems like the hard way, is actually the easier way. The way that you can choose to learn when you have less life affecting consequences while you are still at home. ( The Over-Easy way)
Or you can do what you want regardless of what's expected of you, the way that seems really easy, but is actually the hard way and eventually, when you get out on your own, you will find that if you want to be successful in life, that the things that you're parent tried to teach you when you were at home,all those things that didn't seem all that important to do or follow, were actually very important, and in the adult world, the consequences can range from very small or they can be very devastating depending on what it is. ( The Hard-boiled way)
Which brings me back to my original question...
Would you like your Life over-easy? or hard-boiled?