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This is My Blog. The Content Of this Blog Changes, and WILL Change. It is about Everything that is Important to me! So, I hope you enjoy this brief glimpse in to my Brain!

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Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Pepcon Disaster- May 4th 1988

I was watching Destroyed in Seconds on Discovery, and they had a Propane Plant catch Fire and Explode! Made me Think of A Similar Explosion that i Experienced In May of 1988. Since every other Disaster has a " Where were you When" Facebook Group I set out to Find a " Where were you when the Pepcon Plant Exploded on May 4,th 1988" Group on Facebook, only to find out that their doesnt seem to be One! That was One of the Terrifying Things that i have ever Been Directly Affected by. The September 11 attacks Were A Horrible thing for our Nation and Many more Lives were lost, but,this is as Close as i have ever Come to Knowing what it was like being in New york on that day.. and it wasnt even Close to being as Bad. I know that there are others that were affected by that day also... Then 9/11 happened and THAT disaster Was forgotten in light of this MUCH GREATER tragedy. Just Something i Remembered Because of Something i watched today, Intresting how Some things affect us that way? I havent thought about that for YEARS until i watched that show tonight.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

A New Way to Look at Things

I Just Saw this Video Recently, and I have to tell you I really Like these!

This is a Description of This Video. from the Nooma Website :

008 Dust:
Believing in God is important, but what about God believing in us? Believing that we can actually be the kind of people we were meant to be. People of love, compassion, peace, forgiveness, and hope. People who try to do the right thing all of the time. Who act on the endless opportunities around us every day for good, beauty, and truth. It’s easy for us to sometimes get down on ourselves. To feel “not good enough” or feel like we don’t have what it takes. But maybe if we had more insight into the culture that Jesus grew up in and some of the radical things he did, we’d understand the faith that God has in all of us.

WOW! God Believing in US? Is that as Life changing for you as it is for me? I mean WOWWOW! How Many more things Could we Accomplish if we See ourselves the way GOD sees us? This is SO Crucial to me right now, As I am on a Journey to Learn to see myself the way GOD and GOD alone sees me, and to get my Identity From that, and not what the World has tried to Define me.. NO the way i have BELIEVED the Worlds LIES About who they say i am!

God Believes in me!

How Dare I NOT believe in myself ANYMORE!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The Shack and God's Love For us

WOW! I love This Book! I went to my Girlfriends Unlimited Meeting and We discussed This Book.. its SUCH a deep Book.. its hard to cover Everything In 2 hrs.. On my Drive home The first Song that came on.. was This Song By Tenth Avenue North.. Its called BY Your Side... and the Lyrics Go like this..

Think God is Trying to tell us something here??? Or rather me? I know it is for All of us.. But, right at that point i Feel like it was Just Confirming what we just discussed, it was a very Personal Message to me!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Loving Correction

Reciently I made a Comment to one of the Blogs i like to Read... The Question was What Song needs a Break.. And Someone made the Comment that they Thought that " Mighty to Save/ From the Inside Out" was ones THEY thought was a song that needed a Break... To Which i commented:

"Yeah, I would agree with From the Inside Out. We were doing that some Pretty Heavily for a while. Good song... But, It gets old..."

So, Have a Confession to Make! God made me Eat my Words in our Worship Service Today! Which is Why i am Learning to NOT say stuff like songs i think are tired and need a rest..( not that I think that is wrong or anything for anyone else make these Comments, ) But, Because I right away I felt like i was Limiting God , and as SOON as i say something like.. I dont ever want to have to do...This Thing.. Or Go that Place.. Is the Time Always( well, Most of the time) God manages to Put me in a Place of having to DO that which i said i never wanted to do,Or In MY case today.. I commented Recently On how i Felt that the Song " From the Inside Out" was one that needed a Rest... That was until today when our Worship Team Played that particular Song Today and The Spirit REALLY Moved on my Heart and Ministered to me and my Husband in a real Personal way today. So, I am here to Confess That I was convicted about doing that, with that particular song..This Is on One of the Blogs I have Just reciently Started reading pretty Regularly and I really LIKE! heres the Link In case you want to check it out for yourself( if you dont allready that is)its Ragamuffinsoul.com... I Knew the Minute they started Playing it.. I felt a Check in my Spirit..It was in a Loving way though:) No Condemnation at all! :) Just wanted to share!

Who Says God Doesn't have a Sense Of Humor! I love that About Him!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Kids... *sigh*

This is a Follow up to My last Blog post! One step Forward, 10 Back. I Posted this to my Adhd Group on Monday.

My Husbands Step-son (who he's raised from an Infant, but isnt really biologically his) is going down an a Really bad road. He lives with his Mom. She Runs a VERY permissive household, she has only one rule... There ARE NONE! * sigh*. anyway, he had to move in with her because of some choices he mad when he lived here, that made it Necessary for him to move in with his mom.

Since then, its been totally down hill for him. He has gotten into Running with a Bad crowd, doing drugs,Having Indiscriminate Sex, He Is in the System( has a Police Record) for Vandalizing Property, and most recently been arrested for Shoplifting. He knows what hes doing is wrong. His excuse is "yeah, i know, but so and so made me do it". Or "They were the ones doing it! Im just an innocent bystander" Its NEVER him in anything.. So i have a ladies Small group that i Go to on the Second and fourth tuesdays, and since he has pretty Much distanced himself from us, ( he will go to his Friends house that he gets into trouble with, because his mom lets him, because she wants him out of her face, than to come over here) He went to this friends house over christmas( yes, his mom let him! she is all about herself) than to come with us and spend Christmas with us and go to his Grandparents.

Anyway,I digress! I had my ladies group pray and the leader said " wow, sounds like you have a Prodigal son on your hands", and that indicates a deeper heart issue" I told her i agreed, and we all Prayed for him. Yesterday, we had a Guest@ our church, that goes around and ministers to teens, especially teens in trouble heres the Link! Teen Rock Anyway, this Group came to our Church yesterday, and Ministered. And it seemed Like maybe He had a Breakthrough, and was touched by this Guys message and Ministry, and Didn't want to go down that road. Came up front the Guy Prayed with him and for him for quite a while!. To me it seemed like an Answer to Prayer.

On the way home he was talking about it, how he was going to shape his act up, and turn himself around. My husband said " Yeah, I'll believe it when i see it" as did his sister. I stuck up for him and said, " now, come on! Lets not be negative here" I encouraged him to not listen to the naysayers, and that i was really happy that he was reached and decided to turn his life around. I told him that i know i don't always show it, but that i really did love him and was really happy about this turn of events. He gave me a hug and told me how much he appreciated my encouragement, that it meant a lot to him. My husband took them to church( for youth groups Superbowl party)

I enjoyed the Game and went to pick them up. when i got there, they were dragging their feet, a few minutes later, This Friend of his and Brandon told His Mom A Bunch of Lies about Things i supposedly did and said, and said that they Both told her that i am constantly harassing him and Brandon, and that i talk bad behind their backs and make fun of his friend( this is Something my HUSBAND does, and he freely will admit that he does it, Because, the kid is a BAD INFLUENCE)

Anyway, I told her i didn't Know what she was talking about because I don't do those things! That is Just not in my Nature to do! ( and she would have only come to the knowledge of that threw Brandon)All of this In front of the Youth Pastor/ worship leader. I dont know what he heard or didn't because he was a little bit away from where we were standing). I confronted him( Brandon) about it after she left ( i was too stunned to do otherwise) and He got his cocky attitude back and asked him why in the world would she be coming to me asking me those things? He said, without looking me in the eye" because you and DAD do it all the time. I said, Brandon, that's a LIE you KNOW i don't do that. I told him how Disappointed i was in his Choice to betray my Trust. I told him that He stabbed me in the back, and i have Been Praying for him and Encouraging him, and i Stuck up for him to his dad he was being Negative. i said, WOW, i have stuck up for you and encouraged you and Prayed for you, and THIS is how you pay me back! I said I guess your dad was right. I guess you haven't changed, Your actions just showed me that.

I feel SO betrayed! I have Tried to Love him despite things he has done to me, and hes done to my kids. I have Been there for him( even though i HAVE gotten frustrated with his behavior ALOT!) His DAD has given him SO MUCH he has NEVER been obligated to do! and allways included him in the family( even during the Times I didn't want him around because of his behavior, Nasty attitude, Etc) and He Goes and throws our Family and our family's Name under the Bus! all in the name of his Friend that is SUCH a horrible influence that he would rather sacrifice US than someone hes only known 3 yrs. I am SO sad for Being Betrayed like that, like we are nothing more than a source for him to use when his mom gets on his nerves, or when he wants something from my Husband. We are at the Point of letting the prodigal go... Its hard, its a Situation that HE has Brought us to. thanks For reading if you made it this far. :)I know this has been long, but this situation is heavy on my Heart today.( Monday)

And a Friend of Mine(That i LOVE Dearly!Btw) Said to Encourage me monday afternoon!Seeds Have Been Planted in this Childs Life! Seeds from Last Sunday, Seeds that ever Since he has Been going to our Church with us!Those will Grow and Change him eventually! God doesnt ever Give up chasing us and Its not up to us to Save Him! Thats God's Job! We Need(i need) to get out of the way and let him do it!

I Know that God has a Plan for Everything! and He WILL use this Choice Brandon has Made for His Good and the Good of our Family. Even Though I was Really Angry and Bitter When this happened, I am determined to Continue to Pray for him and One day, he will see the things he has done, and he will be a Better person for it! That is my Prayer. I Totally Believe that God uses things(struggles) in our lives to Make us the Person he calls Us to be!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

God's Moving! YEAH!

WOW! Today was an AWESOME day @ my Church today! My 16 yr old Step son was REALLY touched by the Guest Speaker! This is a Child that has Really been becoming the Prodigal son. He has been going down the wrong road and Getting into trouble with Drugs, Drinking,Sex,and been in trouble with the law. Part of the Message today was ALMOST EXACTLY what i blogged about on the 28Th! That excites me!!! Confirmation! I LOVE IT! I love the Way God works sometimes!!!!I had my Women's Group Pray for him on Tuesday because the situation was just getting so BAD! I love Answered Prayer!!!! YEAH! :) I am Just praying now that the seed that was Planted Today is NOT STOLEN! :) Those of you that pray.. That is what i ask that you Pray for Concerning Brandon.