This is a Follow up to My last Blog post! One step Forward, 10 Back. I Posted this to my Adhd Group on Monday.
My Husbands Step-son (who he's raised from an Infant, but isnt really biologically his) is going down an a Really bad road. He lives with his Mom. She Runs a VERY permissive household, she has only one rule... There ARE NONE! * sigh*. anyway, he had to move in with her because of some choices he mad when he lived here, that made it Necessary for him to move in with his mom.
Since then, its been totally down hill for him. He has gotten into Running with a Bad crowd, doing drugs,Having Indiscriminate Sex, He Is in the System( has a Police Record) for Vandalizing Property, and most recently been arrested for Shoplifting. He knows what hes doing is wrong. His excuse is "yeah, i know, but so and so made me do it". Or "They were the ones doing it! Im just an innocent bystander" Its NEVER him in anything.. So i have a ladies Small group that i Go to on the Second and fourth tuesdays, and since he has pretty Much distanced himself from us, ( he will go to his Friends house that he gets into trouble with, because his mom lets him, because she wants him out of her face, than to come over here) He went to this friends house over christmas( yes, his mom let him! she is all about herself) than to come with us and spend Christmas with us and go to his Grandparents.
Anyway,I digress! I had my ladies group pray and the leader said " wow, sounds like you have a Prodigal son on your hands", and that indicates a deeper heart issue" I told her i agreed, and we all Prayed for him. Yesterday, we had a Guest@ our church, that goes around and ministers to teens, especially teens in trouble heres the Link! Teen Rock Anyway, this Group came to our Church yesterday, and Ministered. And it seemed Like maybe He had a Breakthrough, and was touched by this Guys message and Ministry, and Didn't want to go down that road. Came up front the Guy Prayed with him and for him for quite a while!. To me it seemed like an Answer to Prayer.
On the way home he was talking about it, how he was going to shape his act up, and turn himself around. My husband said " Yeah, I'll believe it when i see it" as did his sister. I stuck up for him and said, " now, come on! Lets not be negative here" I encouraged him to not listen to the naysayers, and that i was really happy that he was reached and decided to turn his life around. I told him that i know i don't always show it, but that i really did love him and was really happy about this turn of events. He gave me a hug and told me how much he appreciated my encouragement, that it meant a lot to him. My husband took them to church( for youth groups Superbowl party)
I enjoyed the Game and went to pick them up. when i got there, they were dragging their feet, a few minutes later, This Friend of his and Brandon told His Mom A Bunch of Lies about Things i supposedly did and said, and said that they Both told her that i am constantly harassing him and Brandon, and that i talk bad behind their backs and make fun of his friend( this is Something my HUSBAND does, and he freely will admit that he does it, Because, the kid is a BAD INFLUENCE)
Anyway, I told her i didn't Know what she was talking about because I don't do those things! That is Just not in my Nature to do! ( and she would have only come to the knowledge of that threw Brandon)All of this In front of the Youth Pastor/ worship leader. I dont know what he heard or didn't because he was a little bit away from where we were standing). I confronted him( Brandon) about it after she left ( i was too stunned to do otherwise) and He got his cocky attitude back and asked him why in the world would she be coming to me asking me those things? He said, without looking me in the eye" because you and DAD do it all the time. I said, Brandon, that's a LIE you KNOW i don't do that. I told him how Disappointed i was in his Choice to betray my Trust. I told him that He stabbed me in the back, and i have Been Praying for him and Encouraging him, and i Stuck up for him to his dad he was being Negative. i said, WOW, i have stuck up for you and encouraged you and Prayed for you, and THIS is how you pay me back! I said I guess your dad was right. I guess you haven't changed, Your actions just showed me that.
I feel SO betrayed! I have Tried to Love him despite things he has done to me, and hes done to my kids. I have Been there for him( even though i HAVE gotten frustrated with his behavior ALOT!) His DAD has given him SO MUCH he has NEVER been obligated to do! and allways included him in the family( even during the Times I didn't want him around because of his behavior, Nasty attitude, Etc) and He Goes and throws our Family and our family's Name under the Bus! all in the name of his Friend that is SUCH a horrible influence that he would rather sacrifice US than someone hes only known 3 yrs. I am SO sad for Being Betrayed like that, like we are nothing more than a source for him to use when his mom gets on his nerves, or when he wants something from my Husband. We are at the Point of letting the prodigal go... Its hard, its a Situation that HE has Brought us to. thanks For reading if you made it this far. :)I know this has been long, but this situation is heavy on my Heart today.( Monday)
And a Friend of Mine(That i LOVE Dearly!Btw) Said to Encourage me monday afternoon!Seeds Have Been Planted in this Childs Life! Seeds from Last Sunday, Seeds that ever Since he has Been going to our Church with us!Those will Grow and Change him eventually! God doesnt ever Give up chasing us and Its not up to us to Save Him! Thats God's Job! We Need(i need) to get out of the way and let him do it!
I Know that God has a Plan for Everything! and He WILL use this Choice Brandon has Made for His Good and the Good of our Family. Even Though I was Really Angry and Bitter When this happened, I am determined to Continue to Pray for him and One day, he will see the things he has done, and he will be a Better person for it! That is my Prayer. I Totally Believe that God uses things(struggles) in our lives to Make us the Person he calls Us to be!